The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson Narrator: Roger Wayne
Published by HarperAudio on September 13, 2016
Genres: Non Fiction
Length: 5 hours, 17 minutes
Format: Audiobook
Source: Purchased
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Amazon,Ā Audible,Ā Libro.fm
For decades, weāve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Letās be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesnāt sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it isāa dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, letās-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limitedā"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was one of those books I read because it was recommended to me by a friend in real life (this usually does not go well) but it seemed like an interesting twist to a self-help book so I gave it a go.Ā This book is full of irreverent language, which I think the title implies but if you are sensitive to that, buyer beware.
The thing I liked about this book is that it doesn’t give you the same ole same, ole power of positive thinking and you are so awesome.Ā What it does is really focus in on some truths that most self help books don’t touch on.Ā You are not special, only a select few people are outside the bell curve and fall into “special” categories.Ā By definition if everyone is special, then no one is special.Ā I can get behind that a lot more than you are so special if you just tap into your blah blah or do blah blah.Ā I think this book really embraces that everyone in life has challenges and problems.Ā It isn’t a bad thing, Warren Buffet has money problems, they are just different that your money problems.Ā It is the challenges and problems in life that give us meaning and help us feel worth.Ā If you had no challenges how happy could you really be?
āBecause hereās the thing thatās wrong with all of the āHow to Be Happyā shit thatās been shared eight million times on Facebook in the past few yearsāhereās what nobody realizes about all of this crap: The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of oneās negative experience is itself a positive experience. This is a total mind-fuck. So Iāll give you a minute to unpretzel your brain and maybe read that again: Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. Itās what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as āthe backwards lawāāthe idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.
In this age of social media, I think the expectations to be happy or share every average moment in your life with people you don’t really know has lead to unrealistic expectations.Ā It sets people up to have this need to have something great or terrible to share with the world.Ā If you are always looking to feel in one extreme way or another it becomes unusual to just be content in the moment.Ā We were not meant to live in extremes.Ā Dating apps let you meet so many more people, but do you really spend any time building connections?Ā If at the first sign of someone not being perfect you can just swipe right or left to be on to your next potentially perfect person.Ā Pro Tip: there is not a perfect person, there are just people that you like more things about than others.Ā Ask yourself, does this make my life better, does this make me happy?
One of my favorite parts of this books was disappointment Panda and his nuggets of wisdom.Ā I think we all need someone to tell us we aren’t special and life isn’t perfect.Ā But in a better yoda like way.
āDonāt hope for a life without problems,ā the panda said. āThereās no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.ā
I enjoyed premise of this book and how well the author gets across his point.Ā It really isn’t a book about not caring, but being select about what you care about.Ā Don’t get caught up in the new need to feel outraged about everything.Ā Not everything carries the same weight in your life nor should it.Ā We as a society have become a little obsessed and outrage porn is a thing.Ā Pick the things you care about, give a F*ck about those and don’t give a F*ck about the rest.Ā Pick your battles, pick who and what you really care about and the rest will take care of itself.
I loved the concepts in this book and think anyone could use them in their lives.Ā Don’t read another “this is how you find happiness” book, until you read this one.
Narration:
I have listened to books by Roger Wayne before, mostly in the Urban Fantasy vein but this was my first self-help book.Ā He did a great job of getting the authors message across and bringing life to a nonfiction book.Ā I liked his take on how to narrate the story and embrace the language, because the irreverent language was part of the fun of this audiobook.Ā I was able to listen at my usual 1.5x speed.
Listen to a clip HERE.
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I really enjoyed your review and need to grab me a copy of this book. Maybe a truck load to give to people I know who might find it useful too:)
LOL…I know so many people who feel entitled. I thought of many of then when reading this.
That whole thing with the backards law that you quote is very interesting. And a perspective I haven’t run across before. I think I might have to check this book out. š
That whole concept makes it worth reading this book.
Hmm, sounds like good old-fashioned common sense for a new day. Appreciated your summation on it, Robin.
Yes a little bit. We’ve spent so much time on telling everyone they are all special and giving out participation trophies that we forgot to teach them it is okay to fail and failing in and of itself is a great lesson. I loved so many of the great ideas and learning in this book.
This is a book that I have been curious about for a long time. I don’t pick up self help books as a rule but I might need to give this one a go.
I don’t read a lot of self help stuff. I do pick up something that could possibly help my managerial skills every once and awhile. I have been a bit overwhelmed at work and so when someone there recommended this as a way to re-evaluate or re-prioritize the f*cks I’m giving in my life I thought why not. I did like this for that. It is time to either change the metrics that I judge myself by or look for a different career.
That is an art I need to master
Same. We could all do better at prioritizing the f*cks we give š
This was recād a long time ago by a good friend and Iāve just been putting it off. Thank you for your great review and I look forward to finally reading it.
This one has been one I’ve wanted to pick up. Glad to hear it was actually something that might be worth reading!